Uh Oh

I scared my poor girl when I tried to shut the garage door. Thanks to the motion sensors she didn’t get squished.

I hope I didn’t scare her away permanently. This was the first time all night that I woke when the camera alerted me. I slept through the rest. (I was that tired from being up all night the night before.)

I am missing her so much. I hoped this would work. I moved the food further into the garage in case she does come back. I think we’re going to need a trap.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Staying Up All Night

My girl, Blaze, has been missing. I am putting out food in my garage and someone had been eating it. So, we set up a camera. About 1 am we got a hit. It was Blaze, but she was gone when I went down. We got two more hits and my girl came back. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to catch her.

The downside of being awake all night is that I am extremely tired, fatigued, sore. I need my usual 4 hours of sleep to keep the fibromyalgia at bay.

Hopefully, we’ll catch the girl soon. I miss her so much.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Believe You are Worthy

Sometimes self-doubt creeps in. I think it’s only human. How do I keep from falling into that trap?

And it is a trap.

Self-doubt can become an endless quagmire of self-hate and all that goes with it.

To dig out of the hole these things might help.

  1. Practice Self-Compassion. …
  2. Remember Your Past Achievements. …
  3. Try to Not Compare Yourself to Others. …
  4. Be Mindful of Your Thinking. …
  5. Spend Time With Supportive People. …
  6. Find Validation From Within. …
  7. Remember That You’re The Harshest Critic. …

These are things you can control if you try. Success may not come easily, but if you practice the above, it will come.

I am back to reminding myself of these steps. Depression and anxiety are liars so I have to actively change those voices in my head. It’s work but I will get there again.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Depression

I have been working so hard to center myself. It’s difficult this time around. I think the most obvious answer is that a depression slipped in. I missed the signs, but should have known.

Signs that I am in a depression:

  • Short fuse over silly things
  • Crying for no reason
  • Appetite increased
  • Restless
  • Fatigue
  • My self-esteem has decreased
  • Difficulty sleeping
  • Lack concentration

I think when my sweet girl disappeared it masked the symptoms for me. I have been so busy searching virtually and physically for her that I didn’t notice.

So here I am. I have noticed and now it’s time to decide what to do. I can let it ride. It isn’t a deep depression. I can exercise. I can do things that make me happy. All this may trick my mind into being happy.

We adopted a 6 month old kitten. Her name is Peaches. She will help my mood a lot. She’s loving and sweet.

So this time I will ride out the depression. If it gets worse I’ll talk to my doctor.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Weather Changes

Our weather dropped from the 90’s into the 60’s after wind blew a cold front into the Las Vegas Valley. Two things that affect my Meniere’s and Fibromyalgia… really most of my illnesses is weather and pressure changes. Wind in particular will give me a migraine, dizziness and vertigo.

BITMOJI

This time I didn’t get a migraine, but I had the light sensitivity, the tiredness and the floaters. Also, I have been dizzy for days with intermittent vertigo. I am thankful that it’s not lasting most of the day. I have been sorer than normal which is triggered by rapid weather changes.

I am not going to complain. It’s just a fact of life. I did what many of us with chronic illness do… Self-care. I took naps, rested and did things that bring me joy. Like reading when I could.

My husband doesn’t always understand and had a things planned in the weekend. The only thing I ended up doing was going to Shake Shack for donation day. It benefited Robin Lehner’s #metoo charity. Since I worked in Mental Health and live with from depression and anxiety it was a delicious way to support the charity.

Shake Shack has gluten-free buns, so I was able to have a burger that I could hold in my hands. They don’t have dairy-free shakes, so I drank water. I could have gotten one of their lemonades, but decided that I didn’t need the sugar.

I am still in a flare, but I feel better today. So far no dizziness or vertigo, but I am still in bed. It’s time for me to get up and attempt yoga. I had to skip a couple of days this week. I got through a slower practice yesterday.

How are you all?

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

My sweet little vampire cat has been missing for over a week. We’ve looked everywhere. Followed up on leads. No Blaze anywhere.

I don’t really have the words to explain how much her absence has affected me. There is a void in my life. I hope someone sees one of my posters and returns her.

We’ve looked in our neighborhood and in other neighborhoods. We’ve checked the shelter. I keep hoping someone will check her chip and call me.

I miss Blaze.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Fibro Flare

Last weekend’s trip has taken a toll on me. Combine that with my rationing my Advair to make a weeks worth last a month, I still haven’t recovered.

Fibromyalgia reared its ugly head and my entire body is tender and sore. We got home late on Tuesday, I was planning on staying at the house in Sacramento until the movers arrived on Friday. Surprise, surprise they arrived on Tuesday.

Ralph was about two hours out when I got the call. Since I didn’t want to sleep on the floor, he came back for me. I scurried around getting packed up. When Ralph arrived we removed some things from the car to make room for me.

Suffice it to say all of this has put me in a fibro flare. We have one thing left in the house to get to be delivered to friends. That is happening this weekend. We are going on the road this afternoon.

I don’t know when I’ll recover from this flare. I am exhausted. It’s difficult to get others to understand that I cannot do this. Still I persevere on.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Brain Fog

What is brain fog? Here is a definition from Google: Brain fog is characterized by confusion, forgetfulness, and a lack of focus and mental clarity. This can be caused by overworking, lack of sleep, stress, and spending too much time on the computer.

Brain fog is one of the most frustrating parts of being chronically ill. For instance, I lost my Advair. I looked everywhere since I was positive I packed it. I remember taking the new one from its package and putting it with my other one before I packed for my trip last week. Once there, I couldn’t find it. I searched my suitcase and the house where we stayed. I searched the car and my purse. Nada.

I have been trying to figure out how I would breathe for the next 30 days. Today, it dawned on me that I packed my nebulizer and the Albuterol for it. These are in silver packages like my Advair. Thankfully, when I checked where I keep them, my Advair was there.

This is brain fog… it’s frustrating and unpredictable. Unless I am struggling for words, I don’t realize I have it. Until, I find myself putting my cereal in the fridge or worse my clean dishes in the freezer instead of the cupboard.

I am just glad I found my medication. My biggest fear is being unable to breathe.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Think Positively

If I had a penny for every time someone told me to think positively, I’d be rich. And if positive thinking could actually cure me I wouldn’t have a chronic debilitating disease and other issues.

Unfortunately it is not a cure. And all people actually accomplish is to make me feel bad that I am not strong enough to overcome Meniere’s Disease. I know that it’s not my fault just as I know that positive thinking won’t make me feel better. It just makes me better able to accept my life as it is.

So many people offer advice, but they don’t have Meniere’s. They may have had vertigo or tinnitus, and something may have worked for them, but none of us are the same and a chronic debilitating disease isn’t easy to fix, otherwise it wouldn’t be a chronic debilitating disease.

So, before you offer advice to someone do your research to find out what works. Don’t just say think positively or use ginger or whatever your cure is. Don’t you think that I have tried everything aside from getting injections in my ears and having a labyrinthectomy that destroys the hearing and vestibular functions of the ear. I am bilateral so those aren’t an option.

I choose to take one day at a time and not worry about what may happen. Getting rid of the stress have been the most helpful advice that my doctor gave me.

I hope this helps those with “helpful” advice think twice before saying anything.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com

Insomnia

I usually wake up frequently and have trouble falling asleep at night. I’ve tried many things to improve. Melatonin, Relaxation, Exercise, Trazodone… I have been doing better most nights.

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I rested which will help me get through the day. I do not know what brought this on.

Yes, that is a dog above my head.

Facty Health has a very good description of the symptoms.

  • Difficulty falling asleep
  • Waking up during the night
  • Waking up earlier than usual
  • Still feeling tired after a long sleep session
  • A lack of energy and tiredness during the day
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • A lack of focus
  • An increased chance of error or accident
  • A reduced memory

Personally I think that anxiety and depression may be the cause rather than a symptom. It’s one one of those situations like which came first? The chicken or the egg.

Today I may end up taking a nap. I am that exhausted. Usually, I try not to nap unless I am not feeling well, because I sleep better at night.

Do you have trouble sleeping? If so what helps you sleep?

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

https://mycrazylife2go.com