Today I did a meditation that reminded me that “I am enough!” We all need this reminder once in awhile.
There is always something we regret. Maybe the way we reacted to a situation. Lord knows though I am trying to return to my peaceful place, there is always someone who can push my buttons. I wish I would react gracefully every time… without giving that person power, but I often fail.
It’s okay! I am human. Born to make mistakes. I must forgive myself in order to move on. Otherwise I would obsess over each mistake I make and that is toxic. Just ask my anxiety and depression that often remind me of my shortcomings.
These are part of me, but they are not all of me. It’s okay. I AM ENOUGH! IT’S OKAY! I CAN MOVE ON! I CAN CHANGE! And so can you. Just give yourself a hug and forgive yourself!
Love yourself. Our past is what has formed us. What we decide to learn from them is how we shape our future! I chose peace. It’s okay if I don’t always accomplish this. I am human. I will continue to work toward peace. I am enough and so are you!
I am a contradiction. I feel equally at peace on a cruise ship or camping. In the city or in the country. In a crowd or by myself.
I love staying at home in bed reading, but I also love traveling and exploring new places.
Within a week I was on a cruise and then I was at Lake Tahoe with the same friends who took the cruise with us. I want to go back to Lake Tahoe to camp or stay in a cabin. Ralph can fish and I can shop. Then we all can sit around a campfire, one of my peaceful places.
I love the earth in all its glory. Ocean, mountains, lakes, plains, hills and cities… the list could go on and on.
I intend to explore as much of it as my health and money will allow. I love being full of contradictions. I am real. I make no apologies for being me. I am trying to be the best version of me I can.
I have great role models. I just met a wonderful person on the cruise, whom embodies much of the characteristics I am trying to achieve. I have a great mentor in Zanesville who continues to inspire me everyday. I am working on me through prayer, meditation and self-realization. Hopefully, I inspire others to live on the good days and rest on the bad.
Yesterday began my first journal entry following Sarah Ban Breathnach’s advice in “Simple Abundance”.
All too often we forget to count our blessings. We get wrapped up in what is wrong with us. Try to focus on the positives in life. It is harder than it sounds, especially if you’re not feeling well.
This is my entry for day two. Right now my husband is sleeping next to me and my dogs are snuggled around us. This always brings a smile to my face.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the negatives. My neck hurts. I had a drop attack in the shower. Fortunately it was the kind that slams me backwards and the wall was there to catch me. I have been lucky in the respect. I have only fallen once with these “slam” drop attacks. I am trying not to focus on these things, but this may be why my neck hurts. See how easy it’s easy to get sidetracked?
As I go along my journey I will share my thoughts with you. I hope you share your blessings with me as well.
Since this comes up often as a topic in many of my posts, I thought I’d address how I prepare for flights. Flying with a vestibular disorder such as Meniere’s can be tricky, but not impossible. Many of us do it. These are some tips I have picked up along the way to make it easier and less stressful on me. Let’s face it traveling is stressful even for healthy people.
1. Book wheelchair assistance in advance. This gets you through the airport crowds and security quicker and takes away the stress of finding the correct gate. Make sure you get to the airport a couple of hours early…
2. Blue Light Filtering lenses or glasses help shield your eyes from the fluorescent lights or whatever kind of lights they are using now.
3. Earplugs help drown out all the noise from people and machines. I like the ones that look like screws, but you might need to experiment to find ones that work for you. This is especially helpful at McCarran Airport where there is also slot machines.
4. Rescue medicine- whatever helps you with an attack. I.E. Meclizine, Valium, etc
5. Motion Sickness Aids- sea bands, otc meds, a patch or whatever. I am fortunate I don’t get motion sickness.
6. Chew, eat or suck on gum or candy when taking off and landing. This helps alleviate the pressure in my ears. It’s not perfect, but it helps.
7. Mobility Aid- I carry a folding cane with me as I never know when my balance will be way off. People tend to get snippy when you crash into them.
8. Rest before traveling. I should have put this first. The most important thing I do to prepare for a trip is rest the day before traveling. I think it helps my body to be fully rested before a long journey.
9. Pack lightly, but be prepared. LOL! You don’t want to carry your heavy suitcase on your lap as your wheeled through the airport, though some of the valets (I don’t know what the assistants are called,) can handle your suitcase too. Wear your heaviest shoes on the plane if your taking more than one pair. If you will be walking a lot… my hiking shoes were perfect in Ireland, better than my Sketchers, which didn’t seem to have enough arch support and weren’t waterproof.
10. Compression socks are worth it for long flights. My legs weren’t tired after our journey to and from the UK via Canada from Las Vegas last year.
11. Neck pillow- I purchased an inflatable neck pillow and it was fabulous. Better than the one my husband purchased for himself, because I could adjust the cushion to my neck.
I hope these tips help you when you fly. Don’t stop living because you have a chronic debilitating illness. Live on the good days and rest on the bad!
Hi it’s me again. I know I said I was going to start posting on Mondays, but the ideas are flowing again… So here you go.
After sleeping on the news that my doctor is going to report my drop attacks to the DMV, I am coming to terms with it. Sort of.
I haven’t been driving for months, because I felt it was too dangerous. First due to daily dizziness from the migraines.
Then due to the mini spins (short benign vertigo attacks-usually only a rotation.).
Then I began having a longer more forceful short vertigo attack without warning…
All this made me stop driving on my own. I don’t get warnings for my attacks or if I do they were probably mixed up in with my migraine symptoms.
Then I started having my drop attacks. It seemed these came in clusters… 4 in 2 weeks. Then nothing. The slam kind where it feels like someone shoved me backwards forcefully. I have been fortunate to only have fallen once during these as a wall is usually there to catch me.
Right before Christmas I experienced the other type of drop attack… I had just put a vacuum cleaner bag in the vacuum and I fell down… kind of off to the left thankfully or else I would have hit the vacuum. I kind of laid there for a second with the dogs licking me and my iWatch beeping until I could respond…
So, I haven’t been driving. It is sad to lose my driver’s license, but I understand the reasoning behind it. There are people out there who would endanger others and themselves.
On good days when I was miraculously symptom free I wouldn’t go further than a few blocks from home, but that’s been awhile. It’s time to take that decision away from me. Though I have went into remission for six years before and it is possible to do so again, we’ll just cross that bridge when we get there.
I am fortunate to live in a city with Uber and Lyft. I wish the bus service was closer to my house, but I will work things out. Right now, I am not venturing far from home on my own due to fear of a drop attack. Notice I am not worried about having a full blown vertigo attack while out… I have only had those upon awakening and I hope it continues that way. Perhaps that is why I don’t recognize the symptoms of an attack before it starts.
It’s one thing to stop driving on my own, because of this disease. It’s quite another to have my doctor take my choice away from me.
My doctor will be reporting my drop attacks to the DMV and I will no longer have a choice. Granted it’s been months since I have driven, but I hate not having the option.
What if I go into remission again? Will I be able to get it back? I have so many feelings about this. Some good and some bad.
This disease is so unpredictable that I have barely drove my car since I came out of remission in December of 2017. I can go on one tank of gas for months. I don’t know if my car will even start after a couple of months of not being driven.