You may have noticed from yesterday’s post that I am in my depression. It came on quickly, though I shouldn’t be surprised, since it’s that time of year.
Depression is never easy. The holidays are harder for many of us. This year, since many people are isolating it may be even harder. Please check up on your family and friends, especially if they live alone. Just reaching out may make a difference. I see you and I hear you!
I wrote a poem which I shared on my writing website Rita L Smith. Sometimes it can be an emotional catharsis to write out your feelings.
Here is the poem. I hope reading it reaches those who need to hear it. I hope you realize you are not alone and that I see you.
Is Anyone Listening?
I am screaming, but no one hears!
Tears roll down my face, but no one sees!
Do I have a voice?
Am I invisible?
Why are my desires less than yours? I have given all I can. There isn’t anymore. I feel empty. I feel drained.
I am no longer able to give. I feel like I am drowning in my pain and no one sees.
I am choking.
I can’t breathe.
I think I am dying a slow death. This must be what death feels like. No that’s not right. Death is a release from this pain.
I am tired of fighting through the fog. Though I know it’s only temporary. I am just wondering why you don’t see me?
It makes me wonder if I miss others pain. Does it make us uncomfortable? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel as helpless as I do when I get into this hopeless state?
The next time you see me. Put your arms around me. Believe me all I need to know is that I am still here.
Depression is not easy to live with. I imagine it’s harder to see, but please don’t ignore it. I don’t want to disappear. I feel as if I have disappeared.
Rita L Smith
December 21, 2020
Love, Peace and Light! Rita