The air in the Vegas Valley has been filled with smoke. It makes breathing difficult, especially if you already have breathing problems.

My asthma has been acting up. I have been doing good staying in the house. Until tonight. Friends invited us to the LV Aviators game. It would have been a perfect night except for the air quality.

Smoke makes me sneeze and makes catching my breath harder. It was a good game though. Do you do things that you know are bad for you!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


Just when I am starting to feel better, my old nemesis, Meniere’s, showed up this weekend. It’s so unpredictable, I can understand why it causes anxiety in many people. I used to be one of those.

Now I just go with the flow. Fortunately, my doctor prescribed Valium and it helped stop the vertigo. I don’t know why my ENT wouldn’t prescribe it. It truly is a lifesaver. I don’t take them ever day. Only when the vertigo begins.

I wish they would knock me out, but as with most medication nothing does.

I am glad we had a lazy weekend. The last time vertigo visited we were in Reno and I failed to bring my Valium that trip. I will never forget it again. I hope!

I hope it’s done with me for awhile. I really hate those days. My tinnitus keeps changing volume and a few times the outside world went quiet. It really sucks that even once MD takes my hearing I will still have the tinnitus. My tinnitus sounds like cicadas with other random sounds thrown in sporadically.

I refuse to get stressed by this diseases unpredictability. I am prepared for when it happens. I have a cane to help balance me. It won’t stop the vertigo or drop attacks, but it will give me a third leg to steady me.

I have Meclizine and Valium as rescue meds. I carry earplugs for hyperacusis. (Some sounds can hurt my ears.) My glasses are blue light filtering. I even have Sea Bands which seem to help a bit. Most of all I rest on the bad days and I enjoy life on the good days.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


The Las Vegas Valley is inundated with smoke. Even staying inside my air condition house my lungs are being stressed. I think even if I didn’t have asthma the smoke would affect me.

I will be staying in and hoping the fires get put out. It’s scary to think that these fires are destroying forests, towns and affecting the air quality for everyone.

I feel for my friends in the Northwest who don’t have AC in their homes. With the increased temperatures and the smoke, it must be very difficult to live there right now. Especially when they’re used to cooler weather.

How is the air quality in your area. I hope you are staying safe. Stay cool my friends.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Body Rebalanced

I watched this video by VEDA called Body Rebalanced this morning. I could relate so much to everything they said.

Walking has its own challenges!

When all this started I felt as if I was going crazy. Thankfully my doctor knew what was happening, so I didn’t keep stressing out. As it was the anxiety went through the roof. I was afraid to do anything, so I stayed in bed most of the time.

I am sure I’ve told this story before… I had started writing, so I decided to call the local writing group to see when they met. Fortunately for me it was that evening. If I had to wait even a day my anxiety would have prevented me from going.

I went to group. I made friends who shared a common interest with me. And I never returned to my bed, unless I was having vertigo.

I practiced my vestibular exercise daily and my balance mostly returned. Then my late husband got sick… My symptoms went into remission, except the tinnitus. Even my asthma seemed to have cleared up. I only had one bad day during that year. After that my vertigo didn’t for nearly 6 years. I almost forgot that I had Meniere’s Disease, until it came back at Disneyland. I do not know how I powered on without our friend even realizing that I was struggling. Ralph knew, because I told him.

That was the beginning of the return of my symptoms. Don’t get me wrong even in remission I still bumped into things. I always have bruises that I don’t remember getting.

I try to rest when I can. I use a cane when I feel really unbalanced, I use walking sticks when we hike. Most of all I listen to my body. I will change plans if I need to.

My days are mostly good. I had vertigo for a few days when we were on a trip. Fortunately it happened at night. I used a cane when we went out after that.

The point I am making and all these people in the video made is that we learned to cope. Most of us meditate and do yoga, we’ve learned vestibular exercises and have gotten our lives back.

We still have to deal with ignorant people. Some within our own families, but we try to educate others.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


I may not be the most talented person, but I do enjoy pretending. Okay, so maybe I just enjoy it. It relaxes me.

Sometimes I just need to pull out a canvas and some paint. Hopefully, I’ll create something pretty. I still am rewriting my novel, so that is not suffering. I make a bunch of mistakes, but I don’t mind the end products. It

I love working from home. I always enjoyed the paint parties with friends, but it’s so much more relaxing to create at home. I am so glad I created my office space. I can set up a table or easel when I am painting and take it down when exercising or writing. It’s was worth the hard work of cleaning out the junk room.

Do you paint, write or create? If so what?

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


I guess this post should have come awhile ago. Everyone in my life should know my triggers by now, because if you don’t it will appear somewhere. My blog is the fastest way to get my thoughts out of my mind, but I am a writer so it could appear in a story as well.

If someone isn’t kind to others they will get mentioned. I have no patience for people who think that others are faking or trying to get attention.

It has been my experience that most people don’t fake being ill. The facts are that it is not fun to have mental health problems, it is a constant struggle to keep your illness under control. The same goes for chronic illnesses… no one would want the unpredictableness of having a chronic illness.

As for people choosing to be gay, have a different gender than they were born with, etc… they wouldn’t choose to enter a lifetime of bigotry and ridicule. They are born that way. It takes a lot of strength for them to be true to themselves.

And people with chronic or mental illnesses who choose to educate others is brave too. They are examples to us all. They open the boundaries so that other people in their situation won’t feel alone. They breakdown walls and create laws to protect others.

So, if you step over my invisible boundary and try to dismiss someone as faking you will be reckoned with here or elsewhere. It’s time for people to wake up and see the truth or if they can’t keep their bigoted opinions to themselves! I won’t keep my mouth shut when someone makes assumptions about things they know nothing about.

This is my warning to others. Take heed or you may end up here or in a story.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


A family member was upset that one of our goal tenders were traded on the Vegas Golden Knights. Fine, I understand that, but she went on to put down the other goal tender because he’s Bipolar. She seemed to think he hides behind the diagnosis.

Robin Lehner (Panda) is trying to breakdown walls and create understanding by openly speaking about his issues and showing that he is a productive part of society. #samehere

It irks me that people like my sister-in-law are so willing to put down others due to their mental health, invisible disabilities and even someone’s sexual or gender choices. How hard is it to accept people for whom they are without judgement?

She dismissed me when I said I had a panic attack at Mass on Sunday and that the increase in covid cases combined with the mask was probably the reason. She pointed out the she, my other sister-in-law and her husband all where mask for 8 hours while working. I said I’d like to see how others handled a panic attack with a mask on. I simply left the church to sit in the car and wait on my husband. Once I was out in fresh air, my mask off, and away from others my symptoms dissipated.

How hard is it to show compassion for others. To try to imagine what it’s like to have mental health issues. Try to listen to people without judgment. If you want to judge think about how strong people are for getting out in the world and speaking about their hurdles they have to get over on a daily basis just to function as part of society.

No one is as perfect as you think you are. Even if I have anxiety and depression or Meniere’s Disease and someone else has the same thing… our journeys are different. You cannot use me to compare to another person. One of us may be able to work or vacation, but you do not know the other person’s story.

Be kind.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


We were supposed to be leaving for San Diego this weekend, but the people we were going with cancelled. I couldn’t convince my hubby that we should go anyway.

It’s been awhile since we’ve been there. I mean the Chargers were still the San Diego Chargers. We went to watch them play the Tennessee Titans, Ralph’s favorite team.

I love everything about San Diego… Old Town, the beach and the weather. It’s so beautiful there.

I will get back there. Hopefully this year. Though maybe with the surge in covid cases this is not the right time to travel. I will be going back to Sacramento to finish cleaning out the house there. It’s way too far from the ocean to enjoy it.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Sex and the City

I am on season 5, the episode with Jack Berger. One thing that comes to mind is that these women have got the relationship thing all wrong.

My City (Las Vegas on Fremont Street)

They still think that that initial excitement you get when you enter a relationship can be sustained forever. They are wrong. Relationships are hard work and both people need to give and take. It cannot be one-sided. If one person makes all the concessions and the other person doesn’t give anything then it won’t work.

I used to be idealistic, but that was before my late husband got myelodysplastic syndrome. I realized then that if I wanted us both to be happy then I had to be selfless. As he was. During his illness Ken made sure that I kept up my writing and writing group. I took care of him and loved him to the end.

This made me realize that I could have made my first marriage work if I had not had an idealized vision of what marriage looked like.

I hope I have taken to heart this lesson I learned in my current marriage, because it will be my last. Ralph is a good guy and takes me in all my menopausal moods. Bless him.

Ralph and me on our wedding day.

Sex is definitely not the cornerstone of a relationship. Which is good when you throw in a vulvar disease like Lichen Sclerosus. It’s everything else you do for each other that makes a relationship.

Blaze loves to edit my work.

Now back to Jack Berger… what a realistic portrayal of a writer. He put out one book that flopped and is trying to write another. He was dropped from the publishers clientele. The important thing with that first book is he landed a publisher after writing it. Writing it, & polishing it is the only way to get a book deal.

Maybe someday I’ll get a publisher. Love, Peace and Light! Rita


2020 & 2021 has given us the opportunity to observe Darwinism in action. And it’s sad.

I am adding this video by Mayim Bailik because she explains the vaccines better than any source I could find. Anti-Vaxxers and Covid.

I have lost family members to this disease, because masks weren’t worn consistently. They were worn, but not with people they knew. Unfortunately, those people didn’t stay home constantly.

Is it so difficult to put a mask on? Sometimes I get panic attacks, but I just try not to stay anywhere for long. I was vaccinated to help prevent me from getting COVID, I wear a mask and I social distance.

None of that is difficult. Yet, this delta variant is still infecting people and it’s more dangerous to those without the vaccine. Younger people are getting covid with life threatening or life altering consequences.

One friend’s son-in-law lungs may be permanently damaged. That means this 20 something man will have to alter his behavior in some way. (Medication, oxygen and limited physical activity.)

Is this really what you want to go through or put someone else through because you were to selfish to wear a mask and get vaccinated. That isn’t the worst that can happen either. The worst thing is dying from this virus. Leaving everyone who loves you mourning your loss.

So, yes Darwinism is happening before our eyes. Thank you for reading, I had to get that out of my head.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita