I surrendered my driver’s license voluntarily. This way when I have been cleared to drive again, I can get it back. I don’t know when that will be. I will have to rebuild my confidence in driving which wasn’t great anyway.
I am getting rid of my car. What’s the use in keeping it if it’s just going to sit in the driveway? This way my brother will have a place to park. Also, I won’t have to pay for upkeep, registration or insurance on a vehicle I can’t drive.
I looked into bus routes, unfortunately there are no nearby bus routes to my house. And there is that little problem of drop attacks that is keeping me from driving that would make it unsafe to walk the distance to the stop by myself.
If I need to go somewhere during the week, Ralph can take me if my brother is unavailable. I can do a ride share. That is a fabulous thing about living in a big town… you have Lyft and Uber.
On the bright side, I don’t get bored at home. There is so much to keep me occupied. I can wait for the weekends to do things with the hubby.
It has come to my attention through your kind comments and those of my Facebook friends that I often use negative statements about myself. Statements that I wouldn’t use about others.
Strangely enough, my Real Appeal weight loss program’s focus this week is silencing negative thought. Negative thought is a good way to stop us dead in our tracks in any of our endeavors whether weight loss, health or our careers.
It’s okay to have setbacks. We all do. So what if we miss a day of exercise or a class. In most cases it’s not make or break time. It’s what we do next that counts. If you miss a class, see if you can make it up or ask a classmate for his or her notes. Start exercising tomorrow. That extra snack you had today won’t set you back tomorrow, unless you continue to go crazy with the snacks. Be smart about your snacks. Don’t stop eating healthy and exercising, because you had to have that cake. It’s okay.
So rid yourself of that self defeating thinking. I am going to do my best. I haven’t messed up my weight loss. My scales may be hovering in the mid 160’s, but my clothes size is dropping and that is a win. Take all your successes and wear them proudly. Let them get you through minor setbacks.
I have been on a journey of self growth for awhile. It is a constant one. It’s important to me to recognize that I have room to change for the better.
My mood is all over the place lately. I think it might have to do with my Topiramate. I love that I am not having any migraines lately, though sometimes my head feels as if it’s on the edge of one.
However, the brain fog (though not as bad as in the beginning of taking this medication.) and the mood swing from peaceful to angry in a matter of seconds and back again is worrisome. I’m trying to be mindful of these mood swings. Thankfully there haven’t been many.
So what journeys am I on?
1. Weight loss
3. Simple Abundance
4. Finding my Inner Peace
These are all important to me, but all are leading to the last item on my list. Finding inner peace doesn’t happen overnight. For me it’s been two steps forward and one back, but I am slowly inching that way.
I am starting by trying to not give others power over me. Its none of my business what others think of me. This has been the hardest for me, as an empath, to accept, since I instinctively know. And I am not a strong empath.
This is where finding my inner peace comes in handy. I can tune out those negative energies from the world and others around me. It’s not always easy, especially during high anxiety or depression times, but if I can work on my zen perhaps those will lessen too.
As I continue on Sarah Breathnach’s “Simple Abundance” journey, I am amazed that I have already started implementing some of her suggestions into my daily life. The one I enjoy the most is Solitude. I would enjoy it more without the tinnitus, but I have to work with it.
I enjoy quiet mornings to myself after my husband has gone to work just to think about things. I have a routine. Quiet time, yoga, meditation, reading, breakfast. I have been finding some days I only turn on music to keep me company lately, preferring to read or write to tv time. How do you obtain solitude during your daily routine?
I have Meniere’s Disease… even if I didn’t, I am getting older. It has been brought to my attention that others are like me, even without Meniere’s. In a crowded restaurant, it’s difficult to hear the conversation at the table your at, because of all the surrounding noise.
For me, I also have cicadas singing a chorus in both of my ears. So, unless you look directly at me and I am looking at you, I may not hear what you are saying. It’s not that I am not paying attention… okay so maybe if the noise is so loud from all quarters I may stop trying to listen… it’s just that I cannot distinguish one voice from another.
This is why I try to center myself in the middle, so that I might be able to follow the conversation. I prefer smaller groups in quieter venues. All though I love their food Cracker Barrel is one of the worst places to have a conversation when you have hearing problems.
I am sorry if you tell me something when we are out somewhere and I don’t remember later. I may not have heard. I have become an expert at nodding and shaking my head without getting the gist of the conversation based on your facial expressions. Test me. Use an inappropriate facial expression for your “news” to see how I respond.
So though my hearing tests only show minimal hearing loss in my right ear… my hearing fluctuates due to this disease, the constant tinnitus blocks sound as does background noise. I cannot always hear! Bear with me… Be patient, repeat yourself if I ask. I am not being obstinate, I really am interested in what you are saying.
I am reading “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Saturday’s lesson was to look for the beauty around you.
It’s easy to spot when you’re looking for it. But can you find it it on a dreary day? How about on a day when you’re not feeling well. Or when you just received bad news?
It’s these times that finding beauty around us makes it easier to get through the bad days. In my online support groups people always ask us to show photos of our pets to cheer them up when they aren’t feeling their best and why not? Our pets are beautiful in their unwavering support of us.
It’s the simple things that ground us and help us get through the hard times. The beauty around us is one of those things that will help if we remember to look for it.
I am starting to purge. Since I am losing weight, there is no reason to hold on to my clothes that no longer fit me. I pray that I’ll never need them again. If I continue to count my calories, log my food and exercise, I should be okay.
This is actually my second purge of my closet. I have already gotten rid of the 2xl clothing. This time around is all my Large LuLaRoe Carlys. Next will be the mediums, but I need to try them on. I will probably bag up the leggings, except a few that I love, but I think they are too big now.
If I regain the weight I’ll buy clothes. Hopefully I won’t need too. I am glad I held onto most of my smaller clothes. I don’t want to shop until I see how much I lose.
Once I get my closet in order, the house is next. I am going to start simplifying my life.