I hate what Covid has done to me. It’s taken away my spontaneity. I can’t plan things either, because anxiety is guaranteed to kick in.
Anxiety will keep me up all night. I may not even be aware of the reason for my insomnia at the time. It’s still there crippling me.
My husband thinks it’s as simple as not telling me about plans, but that doesn’t stop the anxiety. I may get a tad more sleep the night before, but I won’t if something is foisted upon me.
Anxiety is an emotion characterized by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil, often accompanied by nervous behavior such as pacing back and forth, somatic complaints, and rumination. It includes subjectively unpleasant feelings of dread over anticipated events. It’s completely irrational and totally out of my control.
At the moment there is a real reason for the anxiety. There is a pandemic. I have avoided getting Covid-19 this far, we are getting so close to getting to the end game, I am not willing to push things.
I feel pressured to let my guard down. I am not ready. Maybe when I get vaccinated. I am tired of my own company. This is why I feel pressured. On one hand I want to get out amongst others on the other I want to wait.
Since it’s beginning to get warmer I am starting to walk and that will help. When I went to mass on Valentine’s Day, I didn’t speak to anyone. That was quite unlike me.
Love, Peace and Light! Rita