You might be surprised when you look at my pictures in all my past posts. I will post a few here of when I have been in a depression. Typically a person in a depression looks normal. Think Robin Williams.
Even having been a mental health professional I wouldn’t have guessed that he was depressed.
My husband can’t tell when I am in a depression, though he’s getting better at identifying the behaviors I identify with depression. Soon he’ll be putting 2+2 together and coming up with depression.
What got me thinking of this was Bruce Springsteen’s song “Brilliant Disguise” and though it’s about a marriage, I couldn’t help but compare it to putting on a happy face when in a depression.
What you didn’t see was me avoiding my Zoom meetings with my writing group and my writing in general, except this blog. I vegetated on the couch most of the week. I think my husband helped get me out of it because he started helping prep dinners with me. Sometimes a change in routine helps snap me out of the depression.
So for me that is what depression looks like. Sometimes there are tears, flash anger, but mostly no emotion or my mask of a smile. Since my depression smile looks like my real happy smile… years of practice will do that… how are those around me supposed to tell the difference?
The lockdown is probably the best thing that has happened for our relationship in this regard as my husband can see when I have a change in routine. That is the best way for someone other than myself to notice. My brother might notice because he is an empath, but fortunately he tries not to read me unless my emotions are screaming at him.
Love, Peace and Light! Rita