I had a meeting with Vicki Pettersson to discuss my frustrations with my writing. She helped me figure out that in today’s market of Self Pub… that short stories have a market in e-books.
So, I am going to stop stressing if my stories don’t stretch into 50,000 page books or more. I am going to roll with what I turn out. I am going to make them the best I can, but I am goin to go the e-pub route.
I am much happier with this. And I have been productive.
I believe people are basically good. That idea keeps me going. I know there are shades of gray. Not everyone can be angels all the time.
On that not I have seen some truly horrific things happen in my lifetime. Some caused by humans. How can my basic belief that we all have good in us justify the evil I have seen?
Does this mean that some people are inherently evil? How about those who take pleasure in others pain, terror, etc? Are sociopaths and psychopaths evil? Or is a person who knows right from wrong and still chooses to do wrong more evil than those without a moral compass?
Do people change? I believe so. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Our experiences shape us. We can, also, work on ourselves.
I keep seeing posts from both Republicans and Democrats that claim the other side is evil or that their side has been blessed by God. I find this sad. We are all human with the same basic values. Neither side is entirely bad or good. Even though some politicians appear to be devoid of souls, especially when it comes to helping their constituents.
Four years ago my brother told me it was only for eight more years, thank goodness he was wrong. So, I say to people upset that Biden won…It will only be eight more years, more than likely four.
All in all I will continue to believe in the goodness of humanity!
Yesterday was a day that I never expected to see happen in the US. Americans attacking the Capital building.
How are you all doing today? I am tired. I stayed glued to my screen all day waiting for things to play out. Sadly lives were lost, people were hurt. The election was not overturned, so whatever they were hoping to accomplish didn’t succeed.
Unless they meant to terrorize. They did that. They are now Domestic Terrorist. I believe that many people are going to have many feelings about what happened, so I wanted to see how you all are doing.
How is your anxiety? Is there anything I can do to help? Let me know.
I’ll need a test to be sure… though I am having more trouble hearing. Once again my tinnitus got crazy loud followed by complete silence. When it came back a few seconds later, I am sure my hearing was worse.
I wish it was as simple as turning off a vacuum cleaner. Unfortunately there could be no noise and my hearing is lousy. Yes, it’s better if it doesn’t have to compete with other noise, but it’s still going.
It sucks, but I have been expecting it for twenty plus years. I have been rather lucky to have had only minimal hearing loss. Right now the dishwasher is running, so I can’t hear the tv, which was too loud before I started it. It’s a no win situation.
Noise hurts my ears and I can’t hear. It’s a contradiction. Hyperacusis is a hearing disorder that makes it hard to deal with everyday sounds. You might also hear it called sound or noise sensitivity. If you have it, certain sounds may seem unbearably loud even though people around you don’t seem to notice them.
Sometimes it’s like I can’t filter out individual noise. Every sound attacks me at the same volume no matter how close it is. Other times I can only pay attention to one thing so if someone tries to talk to me, I may not notice.
With masks, I know I miss a lot of what people are saying. Fortunately I don’t go many places where I need to interact with others.
The week of Christmas I had vertigo. Little ongoing mini spins. I noticed a pain in the back of my head and wondered if there was a connection.
So, though I know I shouldn’t, I started looking up my symptoms. I got a bunch of “diagnosis “. One though resonated with me.
Occipital Neuralgia is a condition in which the occipital nerves, the nerves that run through the scalp, are injured or inflamed. This causes headaches that feel like severe piercing, throbbing or shock-like pain in the upper neck, back of the head or behind the ears.
I realize that I cannot diagnose myself. I’ll need to talk to my doctors. Probably my primary care physician and my neurologist. Even if this is the reason for my migraines and some of my vertigo, my doctors are already treating it the same. Maybe by focusing on the spine problems I have, we might be able to help alleviate some more of my pain.
And if that isn’t the problem, there is no harm in exploring the possibility.
It’s bad to self-diagnose. If you do look things up don’t get stressed out by all the bad things you find. That is something I learned a long time ago. The more you worry, the worse things get.
Welcome to 2020. We decided to leave my bubble to follow through on reservations I made back in January or February before Covid.
Ralph and I met friends at The Mizpah Hotel in Tonopah, Nevada for NYE! The Mizpah is supposed to be haunted by The Red Lady, a prostitute murdered in the hotel on the 5th floor.
Naturally I asked for a haunted room. We got rm. 502 which is supposed to have the most activity. The Red Lady Room, our friends had, also, gets activity. And the 3rd floor hallway gets activity. We didn’t check out that floor.
Though I didn’t feel any paranormal activity, nor did I see any… I did capture an orb on a video I took. Also, my medicine bag fell off the dresser in the morning. It wasn’t like it tipped over as it was lying down.
As for the orb you can watch the video and determine for yourself. It’s possible it could be dust.
I hope I didn’t make a mistake leaving my bubble. There were too many people wandering the hotel without masks. It will be my own fault if I catch Covid.
This year has been a crazy one, how did you handle it? Did you relish the isolation? Or were you already isolated? Are you a frontline worker? Did you have to work from home? Let me know I am interested.
Did you take the time to nurture yourself? To find what makes you happy? To weed out the toxicity from your life?
As we head into a New Year with hope of a vaccine to help us get to a new normal, will you be able to hold onto the gains you made? Or do you still have some work to do?
I am constantly working to be a better me. I just need to keep that in mind every day as I go through life, no matter what. What are your goals for the new year?
I have had vertigo for four days. Fortunately the mini spins, not the continuous full blown episodes. Last night I thought I was about to begin a full blown episode when the mini spin lasted about 10 minutes. (I didn’t time it, because I can’t see easily.)
Vertigo is the sensation of spinning. For me the room feels like it’s moving around me, but others feel like they are moving. Indeed if I close my eyes, the inside of my head appears to be spinning. (Whatever my minds eye sees.) I rarely close my eyes, because it makes me nauseous.
The good thing about the mini spins is that they’re brief. The bad is that they’re unpredictable and in multiples. I can sit in my recliner to watch tv, but I can’t go out to walk.
So far I haven’t had any this morning. Since the last four days I have been having them during the night and upon waking, I am taking that as a good sign.
I think the emotional stress I’ve been under is responsible for this recent flare. Stress and lights are my biggest triggers.
You can tell the people who are thriving in isolation are introverted. Or at least introverted extroverts like me.
People think I am an extrovert because I can hold conversations with strangers. To be honest I am often better in one on one situations than in a crowd. Here is a link that explains it better than I can.
As I was researching this article I found a new term… ambivert. I may actually fall into this spectrum. It means that I can go either way. This article is interesting because it talks about how to harvest this ability.
I found another article on the introverted extrovert. It talks about how we all change according to situations. Maybe this is true, but I have been thriving in isolation.
Except not being able to travel, I am okay staying home with my husband and pets. I have my virtual get togethers twice a week which keep me grounded. Other than that I don’t feel the need to get out in crowds of people. I am enjoying my solitude. Like I said I am happy in solitude.
To me Christmas is for the kids, since all my nieces and nephews are grown, I don’t feel the need to get together anymore. Besides my family with the exception of my brother and husband (and his family) are in other states. I am looking forward to the solitude of spending Christmas Day alone with my husband.
I wondered if anyone else has been enjoying their lockdown?
I’ve talked about payback before, but I don’t think I’ve covered the toll strong emotions take on chronic conditions.
Yesterday’s strong emotions has led to a fibro flare and I have been experiencing vertigo today. I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s happened before. We already know that stress lead to flares in many things.
Though my emotions have bounced back to a normal for now… I don’t think I am quite out of the depression, but the excess emotions are in the background.
So today my body is screaming for tlc. It’s one of those things that I deal with occasionally. Fortunately not as much anymore as I used to…
Don’t get me wrong, I deal with pain daily, but the flare is tenfold today. I slept in today… I think I needed it.