If you escape into books like I do, I recommend C. Vonzale Lewis series. Lineage is the first in the series. It’s on sale for $1.99 on Amazon Kindle. Zealot, the second book in the series, comes out next month. The third book, Tribe, will come out next year, hopefully.

I love this fast paced series. If you like magic and immortal gods, this is definitely for you.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

That Feeling in my head.

Having Meniere’s Disease I have different stages of symptoms. They don’t hit in any order for me.

1. Off balance- most days

2. Tipsy- aside from a drunk feeling sometimes, I tip frequently.

3. Mini Spins- these are frequent and annoying, but not necessarily debilitating.

4. Full blown vertigo attack- non-stop vertigo that lasts for hours. Fortunately, these episodes are fewer and far between.

5. Dizziness – this is a regular occurrence.

6. Then there’s that feeling in my head that I can’t quite describe. It doesn’t feel right, but I cannot explain it. It’s kind of like being dizzy or having a headache, but not actually having either.

Today is one of those days for number 6. I don’t feel well, but I don’t feel that bad. It’s kind of like I am on the cusp of an attack that may or may not manifest.

I pushed myself this morning because my husband wanted to watch the Golden Knights practice. Mostly I sat in the arena. Yes, I look good. I hide behind my smile. It’s taken years of practice to achieve that.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Happy Holidays

Just here to wish everyone a happy holiday to you all! I hope your Christmas and anew year is stress free. I hope you all are happy and healthy. I realize many of us are chronically ill, but I wish you have good days.

Stay safe and avoid covid. My household, except my sister-in-law are negative. Jody’s almost finished with her infusion and is feeling better. The rest of us are negative and have zero symptoms.

Happy Holidays!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Brain Fog

What Is Brain Fog? 

Brain fog isn’t actually a medical condition, but rather a term used to describe the feeling of being mentally sluggish and fuzzy. It can be a symptom of other health conditions.


Brain fog feels like a lack of mental clarity; it can affect your ability to focus and make it difficult for you to recall things, says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a professor and clinical psychologist in New York City. This definition came from verywell mind.

Brain fog makes thinking hard. I trip over my words, the wrong word comes out or I stutter because I can’t think of the word. Occasionally I just lose my train of thought.

I forget what I am doing, sometimes in the midst of doing it. Things are put in the wrong place. As an avid reader, sometimes the words on the page don’t make sense. Not to mention letters and numbers getting transposed. Dyslexia is not something I had trouble with when I was young.

I have several issues that can cause brain fog. Other factors such as stress and not enough sleep affect how bad it is. Medication can also cause brain fog.

I have been stressed lately so my brain fog is more than usual.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita



One of the members of our house tested positive when she went to the ER. The rest of us subsequently tested and are negative.

Suffice it to say that it’s been a stressful week. My sister-in-law is exacerbating it with her constant bombardment of texts. As if we would knowingly put anyone at risk. None of us has symptoms and all are negative.

Stress is my biggest trigger for most of my issues. Last night I kept waking to vertigo. I am glad they were just mini spins, but I didn’t get much sleep. Not consistent anyway.

I am trying to center myself. Taking mindful breaths in and out to help clear my mind. Listening to lots of Christmas music and watching feel good stuff all while in isolation.

People don’t understand what it’s like to be chronically ill. And how stress affects our health. If they did would they keep the harping up? No compassion. Though I don’t really wish this on anyone, I would like the busybodies of the world to experience it for awhile. Though I am sure they would try to regale us with how they overcame.

Bottom dollar I need to work on my reactions to others. And maybe not egg her on with facts. Yes, because I gave facts about fully vaccinated and negative tests she assumed we weren’t taking precautions. We had already been tested once and had scheduled another test. We even decided to go one step further and take rapid tests before joining any family gatherings.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita


Well, it’s finally struck our household. My sister-in-law has Covid. It’s a fickle virus. She is the only one who tested positive.

She hasn’t been feeling well for a week or so. She began having diarrhea during the week. It was difficult to assess that she was feeling any different than she normally does, because she never feels well since she was stricken with Guillain–Barré syndrome over a year ago.

My brother finally took her to the hospital where she had a covid test. She was admitted for a colon infection. Then her test results came back positive for covid.

That left the rest of us scrambling to get tested. I managed to get an appointment, but no one else could. The tech at the window suggested a rapid test. So, my husband and brother tested themselves at home.

They both were negative. I got my results this morning. I was negative. Ralph and my brother will test again today. And my husband and I scheduled appointments later in the week to get tested again as we don’t want to get anyone sick.

Here’s my question… How did my sister-in-law get covid when she’s only left the house once in the past month for physical therapy? It seems to me that her odds were significantly lower than the rest of us who leave the house regularly. My husband and brother both work. My husband and I go on outings in crowded spaces. (We just saw Reba last week.)

Granted Ralph and I are fully vaccinated and boostered. Hopefully that makes us a little less likely to catch it. It’s still puzzling. Like I said Covid is fickle.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

P.S. My ex brother-in-law is in heart failure and they are considering intubation because the oxygen isn’t working. He has covid too. Pray for my nephew’s dad.

The Holidays

Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year. I still try, but my heart isn’t in it. I’ve lost too many people during the holidays.

The season is no longer merry & bright. I still try to bring back the magic. I really miss the joy that I used to feel.

Depression clouds everything. The lights are dimmer. The music is duller. My heart is harder.

The only thing that keeps me going is my wonderful husband. He really tries to cheer me up. I just wish it was that simple.

Keeping busy does help. My husband is king of finding fun things to do.

Sometimes I need to get out of my head. Going to a burger place followed by drinks at Vanderpumps. All this before seeing Reba and Brooks & Dunn. Little things like this help.

What do you do to get through a depression when all you want to do is snuggle under the covers in bed until it passes?

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

And Just Like That

Yes, I am watching Sex and the City’s new reincarnation. This post isn’t about that no matter how much I still love the show.

Today is a bed & pajama day. Every time I get up dizziness sets in making it difficult to stay upright. I still have some dizziness while lying down, but at least I don’t fear falling.

Hopefully, by taking a day to do nothing, I will bypass the vertigo. It’s been awhile since I’ve had more than mini spins and this constant dizzy feeling.

The pay back from going to see Reba and Brooks & Dunn on Tuesday is late.

I still maintain that living my life is worth the downtime. I am thankful that I am able to take time out rather than push through. So, just like that I am spending the day in bed.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Learning to Live in a Pandemic

Last year everything in Las Vegas shut down. Well, almost everything. Grocery stores and hospitals remained open. The strip looked like a ghost town.

Things started to return to a semblance of normal. This normal had some caveats like wearing masks in public places. Most times I don’t have a problem with my masks, occasionally I do. At those times when the panic sets in I simply move outside to get fresh air.

I no longer have panic attacks in the middle of the night. I briefly thought about going off my anti anxiety medication, but realized that it may be doing its job.

I can go to hockey games, concerts and even travel across the country without high anxiety. This is a good thing. I am still a bit shocked that others refuse to wear their masks or get vaccinated. If it was just their lives they were endangering I’d say it’s their choice. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

I hope that this virus will let up and we can treat it like a cold or flu with one exception, I don’t think employers should ever insist that their sick employees come to work anyway. I always thought that was selfish. I mean I don’t want someone’s germs to make me sick.

So, slowly I am learning to live in a pandemic. I still don’t go shopping in person often. I hope to one day be able to get back to doing everything I want.

Are you getting back to normal?

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Reasons to be Grateful

Having a chronic debilitating disease is not a reason to be a grumpy old woman. Yet, I realize that lately I have been. Partly because I am in a depression right now and negative emotions are stronger. I am actively trying to be less grumpy.

A random photo of my cat, Blaze.

When someone in my support group suggested listing out 3 things that she is grateful everyday, I started doing it too! This bit of mindfulness changes the mindset for the positive.

Also, when I start to feel grumpy I put on music, Christmas music lately. It’s hard to remember to be mad when I am singing.

Listing what I am grateful for is as effective in replacing negative thoughts & words with positive ones. It changes one’s mindset.

I am not sure how my sweet husband puts up with me sometimes, so I am working hard on being happier. Happiness comes from within. It isn’t something that can be given to me. So, I need to be proactive in creating my happiness.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita