Mistake

I started back to yoga yesterday because my shoulder and arm were better. It was a mistake as they are sore this morning.

I guess I must find alternative exercises that don’t stress them. I am guessing the plank and downward dog are off limits. I could do yoga if I avoid putting pressure on my left arm.

However, I think tai chi might be a more viable form of exercise for the time being.Last week when I did this class, though I couldn’t lift my arm high without pain, in the end my shoulder felt better. So, I think this may be the way to go.

I am bummed that I can’t do my yoga. Well I can if I avoid using my left shoulder, but I would be skipping quite a bit of the sessions. Fortunately there is other things I can do. I won’t be walking the dogs on my own, though, since my smaller vertigo attacks are starting up again. I think I may have done too much last week or maybe having the lasagna really does bother more than my reflux and IBS. So far no internal vertigo, I believe it’s called positional vertigo, where I felt like I was spinning. Only it was a constant feeling for me, not caused by movement. If I closed my eyes while standing, my body would move in a circle.

Anyway, I want to continue to lose weight so exercise is a must, since I can’t stop eating. And I don’t want too. Though I am eating healthier, I am still a foodie!

So, I will try to find ways to continue on this journey. I haven’t given up. I just need to modify. I need to always be aware of what my body is telling me as someone with chronic health issues. The doctor didn’t think yoga was bad, but due to the pain today, I am inclined to think that I need to stay off the left arm for a bit.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

3 Things I have Learned

You shouldn’t put off things until the perfect time. There isn’t a perfect time in my experience.

1. Follow your passion! Whatever your passion is. I have a friend who wanted to dance, though she uses arm crutches… she is now dancing in her 60’s. If you wait until you retire to start that book, you may find you don’t have enough time to write it. Set aside a few minutes a day if that’s all you have now and write. Just one paragraph or even just a sentence a day… at least you are writing. You may find that you can write more in an hour than you thought if you just set aside the time. I am writing this to push myself to get back to writing.

2. Take Vacations! Don’t put off traveling until you can afford it. There are many ways you can vacation without breaking the bank. I like cruises, because I can pay on them a bit at a time. Even traveling to Ireland, we broke payments up for things in sections. It can be done even if you don’t have much money. Don’t dream and wait until you can afford it. Look for cheap air fare, b&b’s or whatever to make it happen. Take 3 day weekends and camp. We do mini vacations this way. Camping is a cheap way to get refreshed.

1. Share your feelings! The most important thing I learned is to say “I love you” often. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell your significant others how you feel. Make sure they know how you feel everyday in words and actions. Once they are gone you have lost your opportunity no matter how much you say it. I can only hope that my loved ones always heard me and felt my love.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Fatigue

I hit on this briefly the other day. What is fatigue?

I am talking about the first definition. I often describe it as feeling like I’ve been ran over by a concrete truck that then dumped its load on me. Often when I get fatigue I get all the fibromyalgia pain to go with it. Who’s kidding the fibro pain is always there lurking in the background.

I am exhausted, but I can’t sleep for more than four hours and that isn’t my usually continuous. I long for sleep and have tried everything I can do. The doctor only gives me anti-anxiety or ant-depressants which don’t work. I don’t even allow myself afternoon naps anymore, unless I get a migraine.

So, I am fatigued. It’s a guarantee that any activity I do will add to it, including daily care. I think that’s why Christine Miserandino came up with the “Spoon Theory” to explain to non-chronically ill people how much energy it takes to perform tasks we normally take for granted.

Just taking a shower uses up spoons. This is one spoon that I gladly use no matter what daily, unless I can’t get out of bed. Fortunately, it’s been awhile since I couldn’t get out of bed.

But the fatigue does visit and makes it difficult to get out of bed. Not impossible, just hard. Like I said it’s like trudging through concrete. I can move as long as the concrete doesn’t dry.

I am not sure if I have explained fatigue to you if you haven’t experienced it. Maybe if you’ve ever put in a 24 hour shift changing stores without sleep, you might have an idea what fatigue feels like.

If you want to know how it feels… try staying up for 24 hours while cleaning your house without resting. If you do this, then you will know how people with fatigue feel. Only we don’t need to do that. It just is part of our illness.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Living Your Story

I am an introverted extrovert. I often shy away from crowds, while at the same time crave them. They both drain me and energize me. I can converse with strangers, but freeze up with people I know.

It all depends on how I feel internally at any given moment. It comes down to how high my anxiety is when I am interacting with others. That internal dialogue that constantly berates me during times of depression or anxiety. Fortunately, it’s been quiet for quite awhile now.

Still there are days I’d rather stay at home with my pets and my husband. Other times I want to get out among people after being home all week with my pets.

I am a contradiction. Today’s reading from Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach is about living your life, so you have stories to tell. If you have stories to tell, you never need feel awkward in social situations again.

I think this is true. The more I experienced the easier it has become to find interesting subjects to talk about. Losing or getting my passport stolen in Gatwick Airport is an interesting experience.

Don’t hide away. Get out and live. Create your own stories. I feel like my story began in my mid forties when I joined the Y-City Writers of Zanesville, Ohio. This group helped me grow so much.

Having a chronic debilitating illness helped me realize that there aren’t any guarantees, so I need to live it while I can. I do, even when my introverted self cries out that it needs to recharge.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Happy Valentine’s Day

Today is a day for love! Even if you’re not in a relationship you still have someone to love… YOURSELF!

Self-love is probably the greatest gift we can give ourselves and to those we love. Once we accept ourselves and love ourselves we can truly give and receive love.

Today, I want you to do something for yourself. Buy yourself something you want. Put on that lipstick you usually save for date night, or that cologne you love. Whatever you normally do for others, do for yourself. Why? Because you are worth it.

If you are alone today take yourself to dinner or better yet make yourself dinner, light candles and pour a glass of your favorite beverage. Treat yourself as if you’re on a date. Then cozy up in your favorite spot read or put on a movie you wanted to see.

After my second husband died I learned to do this and it was amazing. It opened me up in ways I never dreamed possible. If I could tell my 13 year old self one thing… It would be to love yourself. Instead of waiting until I was nearly 50 to find my self love. If you are young and reading this know this… YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE! Start with you! The same goes for you no matter what age you are.

Surround yourself with things you love. Start each day by telling yourself you love yourself. Breathe love in and breathe love out.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Navigating the Health System

I am trying to get my health under control. I am waiting for a call back from physical therapy… somehow the wrong order was called in. I need therapy on my neck and shoulder, but the order was called in for my Meniere’s. Things like this can be frustrating.

I have an upcoming appointment with my ENT about my drop attacks. I don’t think there is any treatment and the seem to have leveled off for now. They were coming in clusters for a bit before Christmas, but nothing since. I do need my hearing in my left ear checked as the tinnitus and fullness is constant now.

If I can get those two things taken care of, I hope I’ll be good for a bit. I hope anyway. I will need to get into see my new doctor as my husband’s work is changing insurance and as a result I need to do change doctors.

I hope that the internist I chose will be better able to understand my specific health issues to help me manage everything. It’s not easy and my last doctor didn’t understand Meniere’s and for me that was frustrating.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Worn Out

I guess worn out might be an understatement… I am actually fatigued. It’s the downside of a chronic illness.

Jacob (f),Alex (b) and Me many Christmases ago.

I have been cleaning my house for days in preparation for my nephews visit and it’s still a mess. My body is rebelling, yet I am determined to be here for them.

This morning I made french toast for breakfast for them. I figured it would save us all a bit of money and all it cost me is a bit of energy. They are off to Red Rock Canyon and then the strip, so I am taking it easy at home.

I wish I could have joined them, but if I did I would surely end up in bed instead of just on my recliner. Still it’s great seeing them and Kat too. I am pacing myself so that I can enjoy some of their time here.

It seems strange that I am home and have to worry about pushing myself too far. At least they don’t have to have this old lady tagging along all the time. LOL!

Love, Peace and Light! Rita