Many of you may not know this, because I really cannot remember if I mentioned this before… When my illnesses started they hit me hard and fast. Many times I’d go to work and the fluorescent lights would trigger a migraine or vertigo/dizziness. My fibromyalgia was in a flare that never went away. I was so fatigued all the time. The Lichen Sclerosus was itchy and burned as it transformed my vagina into something unrecognizable. I was miserable and spent more money in gas than I made due to my illnesses.
When I stopped working everything, except my asthma was in a full flare. My depression and anxiety were through the roof. I could barely move.
So I didn’t move much. I only got out of bed when I needed to eat or go to the restroom or shower. Unless I needed to visit family I did not leave the house. I gained weight. To this day my weight yo-yo’s back and forth.
I had began writing again before I stopped working. I did a lot of writing in bed. I started going to the library to research and to get reading material.
I learned there was a local writing group a year before I took the plunge. Finally, I called the library and was given a contact number for The Y-City Writers. It happened that there was a meeting that night. I didn’t have time to let the anxiety stop me from going. That was the best decision I ever made.
Even though I moved across the country, I still get out of bed daily. I have an online community of writers that I connect with daily. I am writing again. And my husband makes sure I get out of the house.
The pandemic set me back a little and I found that I am okay not peopling. In fact, my anxiety reached an all time high for a bit. Right now it’s under control. I went to see Garth Brooks a few weeks ago. I went to an Aviators game last weekend and this weekend I went to a charity softball game.
I am getting back out. I realize that my anxiety is my biggest roadblock and since the numbers of covid are on the rise, I may end up being a recluse again.
Fortunately even housebound I have friends in Ohio and Washington whom I meet with once a week. I have a book club weekly. And I have my House of Ink peeps. That money was the best I ever spent, because it gave me a writing community. The tools to rewrite my book which is keeping me occupied.
I guess what I wanted to say is that no matter how bad off you are, I hope you can find something that brings you joy. In this day and age you don’t have to be alone if you have a smartphone, tablet or computer. Sometimes taking one small step can get you back in society.
I miss have independence which the doctor took away when she took my license. I am going to ask my new doctor if he can reinstate it. I miss being able to go to grab a bite to eat when I don’t want anything in my kitchen. Or to meet a friend for lunch. Lyft was a nightmare when I called one in March. It took over an hour to get a ride. The first driver backed out when he was a couple blocks from me after dropping off another ride. Hopefully this will get better, but it would be nice to drive again.
Love, Peace and Light! Rita