This was my first overnight in a hospital. One I hope never repeats again. The staff are all very gracious.

If I had been at home for this first night I wouldn’t have received the same amount of care. Thus I am better off here.

Despite the beeping machines, nurses in and out during the night, I am surviving my first overnight.

Add the fact that don’t sleep the entire night on a good night at home, the interruption hasn’t bothered me.

My pain level has been high and is just now coming down. Morphine has help tremendously. Except it may be interfering with my blood pressure reading. So no more pain medication for now.

I feel as if I have been ripped open and my piecy parts dove back in.

Sorry about this middle of the night rant.

Love, Peace, and Light. Rita

Ear Fullness

You know that feeling you get when on an airplane? Your ears won’t pop and sound is muted. That’s how my ears feel today.

Since I haven’t changed elevations, I have narrowed the trigger to 3 things (maybe 4).

  • Stress – I am in high anxiety mode as my hiatal hernia surgery approaches.
  • It’s raining. Living in Las Vegas this is rare.
  • Miralax- I am on a liquid cleanse and drinking Miralax every hour.
  • Or it could be the Meniere’s. The last time this happened I lost more hearing.

Whatever the cause it’s very distracting. I pray it’s not the Meniere’s changing things for me again.

Love, Peace, and Light! Rita

One Day At A Time

With any chronic disease we learn to take one day at a time. That doesn’t mean we don’t get upset when we have to cancel plans.

Today I woke up feeling wonky. The vertigo though brief is debilitating. Only because I don’t know when it will strike.

It’s strange that this bout seems to stem from the back of my neck. I noticed my neck hurt last evening. Sitting up right now is difficult.

Renegade is here to cheer us up.

I skipped church. I never want to be in public when vertigo strikes. Right now it is just a rotation or two at a time, I am always worried about it turning into a full attack.

I am trying to rest. I want to be writing but can’t sit up at the moment. So, I am writing a blog from bed.

Take things one day at a time or one minute at a time or whatever you need. Things change rapidly with Meniere’s, Fibromyalgia, etc. Don’t let them ruin your life. Rest on the bad & live on the good.

Remember I had a full blown vertigo attack on my cruise in March. I rested during it and slept. The next morning I enjoyed myself. Yes sitting on a lounge chair is enjoyable.

Love, Peace & Light! Rita

Hiatal Hernia

I have been in pain from my hiatal hernia for a few years now. Occasionally my food will get stuck and I cannot wash it down. When I try the liquid comes back up.

A picture of me with Peaches

My gastroenterologist had me wait until my esophageal ulcer healed. Several endoscopy’s were needed to determine this. Though I got in almost immediately to see the surgeon, I had to see a cardiologist.

Dr. Teng wanted to make sure my heart wouldn’t give out on the operating table. Echo, ENG, and Nuclear Stress Test are completed and the cardiologist has cleared me.

One more trip to the surgeon’s office to pay & another trip to the hospital for pre-surgery testing and I’ll be going to surgery on Thursday.

I am having the linx procedure. Believe me it sounds better than the alternative. I’ll let you know how the surgery goes and keep you updated on my healing process.

Love, Peace, and Light! Rita

Interesting Things About Me (or so I think)

  • I am living my best life despite having a chronic debilitating disease.
  • Six months after my second husband died I dreamed my current husband kissed me. We’d know each other as kids.
  • I met my husband on a school bus in Jr. High.
  • I collect things, people, animals, memories.
  • I have been writing since I was a child. 
  • My writing is dark. But somehow I published a children’s book.
  • After 10 years of sitting on a couple of stories I am releasing them one episode at a time on Kindle Vella.
  • I have an egg shaped birthmark that matched a scar on my mom’s hip.
  • I am an introvert. No, really I am. Being around others drains me. I don’t think I realized how much until we were in lockdown during COVID in 2020.
  • I might be married but I am not a housewife.
  • I no longer drive because my old doctor had my license revoked due to drop attacks. (I have never fallen sitting down.)
  • I love to travel. Especially on a cruise ship.
  • I hate liars.
  • Depression and anxiety are things I deal with.
  • Happiness is internal. I no longer need others to make me happy. 

Tell me something interesting about you.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Fibro Flare

Fibromyalgia literally means muscle pain. It’s more complex than that because it’s a syndrome. Aside from the pain, depression, fatigue, and sleep loss. Amongst other things.

Activebeat put together the following list.

  • Pain
  • Environmental Sensitivities
  • Sensitive skin
  • Muscle stiffness
  • Joint stiffness
  • Muscle spasms
  • Exhaustion
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Chronic headaches
  • Bowel troubles
  • Depression
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Poor sleep quality
  • Memory problems
  • Cognitive issues
  • Anxiety
  • Dizziness
  • Unsteady body temperature
  • Restless leg syndrome
  • Tingling in hands
  • Painful periods

I was diagnosed using the pressure points method. According to WebMD people with fibromyalgia have tenderness all over the body.

According to Healthline that method isn’t used anymore. I meet the other criteria as well, though I have issues that may overlap some of the systems. i.e. dizziness- I have Meniere’s Disease.

  • You have a widespread pain index (WPI) score of seven or higher and a symptom severity scale (SS) score of five or higher. Or you have a WPI score of three to six and a SS score of nine or higher.
  • You’ve experienced symptoms at a similar level for at least 3 months.
  • You don’t have another disorder that could explain your symptoms.

Before these criteria were adopted, doctors used a “tender point” system to diagnose fibromyalgia. Under the old system, you needed to have widespread pain, as well tenderness when pressure was applied to at least 11 out of 18 points on your body.

I have been in a fibro flare for more than a week. I blame the weather changes that Vegas has been experiencing. I have increased my activity because I am trying to get healthier which could play a role in some of that. Stress may also be a factor because my kitten got out of the house. Don’t worry she’s back now.

I will be taking it easy today to try to get it under control. Maybe a good old fashioned nap will do the trick.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

PS. Check out my website in the link above. I have been writing episodes for Kindle Vella of John Dunham’s Diary– my vampire slayer and Hitching a Ride– my YA story about astral projection. Or just click on the titles to take you directly to the stories.

What I’ve Been Up To Lately


Finally, this little girl returned home after a three week walkabout. As you might guess my stress was through the roof. Even now days after Peaches is safe my body is still in a state of duress in the form of a fibro flare. I am hopeful that it stop now that things have calmed down.


I have been writing with my taskmaster looking over my shoulder. I have published episodes of two of my stories on Kindle Vella. My vampire slayer’s story, John Dunham’s Diary and my YA story about a paraplegic who found a way to borrow other’s bodies, Hitching a Ride.

The Las Vegas Aviators Game on Star Wars Night

Ralph and I found Chewy and a resistance member at a local ball game. The best part was the Aviators won.

Chewy and Holly

Since I am trying to lose weight, I have started walking the dogs or rowing on my home rowing machine. I am getting stronger everyday and slowly losing weight. When I began this journey with NOOM I was 207 lbs. As of yesterday I weigh 198.9. I chose the slow route in hopes that I can keep it off. I weighed more before this journey, but had already lost some.

Ralph and I at a Golden Knights game in the Hyde Lounge. Great view.

We’re always cheering on our Vegas Golden Knights whether at home, a watch party or at the Fortress. We keep busy.

I do these things though I am dizzy most days, or in a fibro flare. This is how I live despite my chronic debilitating illness. I hope you’re able to live too.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

My Crazy Life to Go: Cruise

Ralph and I drove to Long Beach from Vegas on March 17 for a cruise to the Mexican Riviera on Carnival Panorama. We stayed at Hotel Royal in downtown Long Beach. Don’t stay here if you have mobility problems, the stairs were murder. It was clean though tinier than our interior cabin on the ship.

Long Beach was in bloom despite the cooler temperatures.


Our cruise was fun. On the first sea day we took a barbecue master class. And the second we did a brewery tour. Yes, the ship has its own brewery. I had one Bloody Mary before. Then a sampling of beer during. We were exhausted so Ralph and I decided to rest before going to Lido for a bite to eat.

Our friends knocked on our door. When I tried to get up the vertigo put me back down. It lasted for for hours. The weird thing for me was the direction it spun. Normally mine is horizontal going in either direction. This time it was vertical. I never had this before. Wavy walls going up and down but not full on spinning up and around. I slept it off and managed to continue the rest of the trip without incident.

I should have paid attention to the warning signs. Usually I feel normal on a cruise, but this time I was off balance and wonky at the start. In the future I will heed this warning.

Warning signs: off balance & wonky.

Here are a few photos I took of our vacation.

As you can see I didn’t let a little vertigo spoil my trip. My motto is “Live on the good days, rest on the bad.”

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Final Countdown

It looks like I’ll be getting my hiatal hernia surgery after all. I just need to pass one more hurdle. EKG, Stress test to make sure my heart is up to the challenge.

In the meantime I’ve began Noom. And am down under 200 lbs. I slipped up a couple of days, but I’ll get back on track. Hopefully, I will keep losing on our upcoming cruise.

We’ve kept busy since my first appointment with the surgeon. I haven’t had time to worry about it.

We leave soon for the Mexican Riviera. Once back my stress test & EKG is scheduled. Once I get the go ahead I can schedule my surgery. I can’t wait. I will finally not choke because the food won’t go down. Though I will have to stretch the magnets from the Linx band slowly.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita

Stress & Chronic Illness

Am I Making It Worse?

One of the first things I learned after being diagnosed with Meniere’s was to recognize stress. I didn’t figure this out for myself. My doctor sent me to vestibular therapy.

My therapist exposed me to situations that triggered my vertigo. Moving traffic, ceiling fans, wonky wallpaper, tiles, etc. The initial stimulus increased my heart rate. My fight or flight mechanism kicked in. I really didn’t want to do it.

The more I desensitized myself the less my anxiety. In this case the stimuli caused the anxiety which made the dizziness worse.

The opposite is true as well. When I allowed stress to rule my life my vertigo worsened. It’s not always possible to avoid stressful situations, but there are things you can do to stop it.

  • Meditation is overall the best way to be mindful of things that cause me stress. The more I meditate the more I remain at peace. I have gotten away from this lately.
  • Grounding helps in the moment of panic. Locate something to touch, taste, smell and hear. I find this gets me out of my head.
  • Breath- pay attention to your breathing. You can slow it down by taking deep breaths and releasing it slowly.
  • Mantra- have a mantra that you can say to yourself or aloud. I repeat the Serenity Prayer when I feel stressed.

There are many other ways that you can reduce stress or the severity of a panic attack, these are just what I have found that works for me.

Love, Peace and Light! Rita