One of the author groups I belong to was discussing all these plot twists this year has taken. Who would have thought this time last year that we’d have so many plot twists. Imagine trying to turn this script into an editor… They’d reject it outright. Or at least take a red marker to it. Maybe have you break it into more than one book.
It seems we can’t get through one thing, the Pandemic, without another thing happening. I wish changing things was as easy as editing, but unfortunately life doesn’t work that way.
In the meantime I am at home trying to advocate that #BlackLivesMatter while staying safe during a pandemic as the country I live in becomes angry, sad and scared.
Yesterday was blackout Tuesday. I didn’t realize until after I posted a few things, but I went dark the rest of the day on Facebook and Instagram.
Most people are trying to live their lives. Businesses in Vegas are struggling to survive. I got my hair highlighted and my stylist/owner is worried. Worried that his customers don’t have money to come in… worried that he might get looted… worried that another shutdown could happen again.
I get it. I really do. My husband has been permanently laid off. He probably won’t get a job as an analyst until the casinos open for a couple of months.
So while life continues on for most of us. Try to be kind. Remember that people are dying and have been dying because of racism and inequality for a long time. That’s why black lives matter. Let’s start a dialogue with others to change things.
Our officers need training to learn how to leave their personal views at home. Anger management and proper takedown training is necessary. Continuing education and reviews of officer misconduct is needed. Firing when incidents happen. There is so much that can be done to insure that these kind of things don’t happen.
My brother continually tells me I am a bigot against bigots. Maybe I am. I think I just don’t get their point of view. If everyone would see us all as the human race we’d be better off.
My heart is breaking. The events of this past week should never have happened. Those charged with protecting and serving us should never get carried away for any reason. Even during a take down a knee to the neck is never necessary and once the person is restrained the takedown is over. Something went seriously wrong and no one stopped it. And my heart is breaking.
We need to make changes in the way we think, act, and react to people who don’t look like us. We need to take a stop injustices when we are witness to it. If we don’t then nothing will ever change. We need to speak out.
I am writing about it, because it’s not safe to join the protesters. I think they forgot through all their emotions that we are in a pandemic. I have never stood by and watched atrocities take place.
I am thankful that I have never seen anything as bad as what happened to George Floyd. I have stopped bullying and stood up to bullies. I will continue to address things as they pop up in my life. I hope you join me in doing the same. We all belong to the human race. Black Lives Matter! Stay safe…
I don’t want to hear, but all lives matter. That is not the problem. The problem is that many people don’t understand that black lives matter!
What is Nystagmus? It’s involuntary eye movements. Many people with vestibular issues have it. My doctors & therapists say I have it, but I rarely can see it. If I feel my eyes jerking around and look they seem to stop. I have only seen mine occasionally. Wikipedia actually has a fairly good video of it.
It makes doing things like walking or staying upright difficult. That’s why many of us are sent to vestibular therapy to retrain our brain to work around what we see visually.
Last night (Friday) was one of the few times I could see my nystagmus. It was really subtle. Today (Saturday) I suspect I have it, because I am seeing trails or palinopsia.
When I looked up visual trails this is the first thing I found…
Visual Trails: Do the Doors of Perception Open Periodically? “Visual trailing” is a transient but dramatic disturbance of visualmotion perception of unknown origin: the subject perceives a series of discrete stationary images trailing in the wake of otherwise normally moving objects. May 10, 2011
Most likely the cause is migraine. Though I am on Topiramate so I am not experiencing pain, I think that this is one of my migraine symptoms.
Here are some causes of Palinopsia:
Drugs and medications
Focal cerebral lesions
I do not use drugs, have seizures and have ruled out lesions. Medication could be the problem, but since the onset of these trails coincided with my 3 month migraine and the onset of Meniere’s, I am going with migraines.
Saturday I restyled my paper bag waist cropped pants from Nordstrom. They aren’t cropped on me. They were about sold out the last time I posted, so here is a similar style, not so wide legged in a different color. I am once again wearing an Amazon Basic V-Neck Tee. I think some plain basic tees are a good staple in every closet. You can do so much with them. My Skechers are always great on my feet. My sunglasses are retro oversized flat glasses. If you recall the last time I wore these pants I went with a SoHo vibe. I wanted a different vibe since we’re mostly staying in today.
Brain Fog is the inability to think clearly. Many people with chronic illnesses have it. Sometimes it’s medication induced or caused by age. WebMD says it isn’t a medical condition. It’s a term used for certain symptoms that can affect your ability to think. You may feel confused or disorganized or find it hard to focus or put your thoughts into words.
Speaking from personal experience it’s extremely frustrating at times. I have been reduced to tears looking for my phone when it was in my hand. Sometimes, I can’t complete a sentence because I cannot remember what I was saying or forget the word I was going to use.
They say by eliminating the cause you can eliminate brain fog. I guess in some cases it may be possible. If lack of sleep is the issue than by getting enough brain fog ought to improve. If medication is the cause than see if your doctor can work with you to find something that won’t cause it. Right now there aren’t enough treatments/cures for most chronic illnesses so unfortunately if they are the source of the brain fog we have to live with it.
When I began the Topiramate, my brain fog increased so much that I wasn’t sure that I was going to be able to handle that side effect. I rode it out because the medication stopped my daily migraine so I rode it out. Fortunately for me it only lasted about two weeks.
Still I have my normal amount of brain fog. Forgetfulness… I have to write everything down. I still forget what I am saying at times or cannot think of a word I was about to say. I lose my glasses when I am wearing them. Little things like that.
If you have these problems talk to your doctor. It’s a good idea to make sure it’s brain fog and nothing more serious.
According to the Mayo Clinic Alzheimer’s is a degenerative disease that causes the brain to waist away and die. That is a horrific definition, but probably the most accurate. They say it is a continuous decline in thinking, behavior and social skills that disrupts a patients ability to function independently.
I only have an inkling of what it’s like because I deal with brain fog. I cannot imagine what it’s like to lose all your skills. It must be so frustrating.
Early signs of the disease are forgetting events or conversations. That is worrisome. If you’ve ever forgotten things as I have. I think mine is due to the brain fog. As the disease progresses Alzheimer’s patients will develop severe memory impairment and lose the ability to carry out simple tasks.
In later stages of the disease complications from lack of brain function may lead to dehydration, malnutrition and even death.
We all go through many stages in our lives. Some are good and some are not so good. As a person with a chronic illness there are days when the bad seem to outweigh the good. At least I can recall all the good.
Most of the time. Brain Fog can make things hard, but what if it’s not brain fog? What If it’s dementia or Alzheimer’s or something like that? How do you know the difference? I think I am going to do a series on this. Starting with Dementia.
Unfortunately there is a point in life where dementia may take away our good memories and replace them with bad memories or even false memories.
It’s scary watching our loved ones decline. It’s even scarier if you’re the one going through it. You don’t know who to trust. You cannot rely on what your mind is telling you, but all your life it’s the only thing you’ve been able to count on to get you through.
What do you do when it starts to tell you that you can’t trust the people you love? Hopefully they are strong enough to stand by you no matter what.
Just know they love you no matter what your mind is telling you. That together you will get through this one day at a time.
No matter how I try I cannot escape it. It’s like that ever persistent annoying kid brother following me around the house. Too close for comfort. It affects everything I do.
On our Monday walk my left ear popped. Suddenly I could hear better from it. Then it began to throb. I returned to the car because suddenly I didn’t feel too well. The slow spins started as I put my hiking poles in the car. They are not constant, but frequent enough to make me not to want to do much less I aggravate it.
That kid brother, Meniere’s, I spoke about… caused me to fall in the store the other day. It knocks me off balance to one side and then another, which is why my husband bought me hiking poles for our walks.
At home that annoying kid brother constantly knocks me into walls and furniture. I have bruises on my legs and arms that I can’t remember where or when I received them, but I am sure it’s due to Meniere’s acting up.
That kid brother is also noisy. He’s constantly humming in my ears. He sounds like a bunch of cicadas most of the time, but occasionally he has a whistle or a drum and I swear one time he flew a helicopter near my head.
I swear he most stuff cotton in my ears too, because half the time everything is muffled. I hate that it will make me go deaf.
I fell on Saturday. I went to Target with Ralph, I thought I might want to look at clothes. I didn’t.
I am not sure what happened. It wasn’t a drop attack. At least it didn’t feel like one. I think it was more of a balance issue. One moment I was up and the next I was down. It could have been a drop attack, but like I said it felt different. Then again, I have had 3 different types of drop attacks so who is to say this was not one?
Only my husband saw me fall. I am not sure he saw as much as heard me as I went down. I am glad I didn’t have an audience. I am a bit battered and bruised, but no real damage. I have been lucky in my falls.
I made the mistake of leaving my cane in the car because I felt fine. Perhaps I need to be more diligent about carrying it no matter how good I feel. I just forget when I feel good.
I am sore. Hopefully, this will remind me that I need to carry my cane no matter how I feel. Then again, maybe not, as I forgot it on our Sunday walk. Note the lack of cane and/or walking sticks in this photo.